WOW. I'm gonna state the obvious!

Like, my boyfriend totally slept with Paris Hilton and got genital warts (otherwise known as HPV) from her and now I have it and it's a total bummer. Who would've thunk, for a split second, that sleeping with someone like her would make my boyfriend contract an STD? Ugh, and now i have it! Not fair!

I mean, it's not entirely possible that he slept with anyone other than Paris while we've been going out.